Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
