She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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