my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
