Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
