Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
