you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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