You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
