Porn is love you can see.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
