I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
