I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
