The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
