I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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