Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
