i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
