If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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