Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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