So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
