I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
