Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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