Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize