Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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