porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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