life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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