Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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