is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
