I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
