I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
