The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My breasts were aching with rage.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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