Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The best revenge is premature balding
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
