the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
