As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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