shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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