I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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