hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
