Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
