I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
