Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
