it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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