his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
