I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ugly people sure do ruin things
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
