Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
