I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
