Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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