You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
