i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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