Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
