Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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