So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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