D3 body, D1 cock
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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