Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
