I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
