I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
